Repurposed White Picket Fence - Wedding Isle Decor!

A while back, one of our neighbors was re-doing their fence and had tossed their old fence to the curb.  Thinking I could do something with it and seeing as it was free, I tossed a dozen or so sections into the back of my friends truck and took it home!  It sat, for a long time.  Come fall, Dev and I ripped most of the pickets off and covered them for winter.  Once spring hit, we were back at it - much to Devin's disappointment.  We sorted trough the good pieces and the bad (they were throwing them out for a reason).  

Then we planned out a design and began assembling.  We did pieces of three, held together by 2 pieces placed along the back and we put in a longer piece to act like a stake in the ground so they would be upright during the ceremony.  

Then Devin found amazing paint that covered well, and was not too expensive, and painted all the pieces front and back.  Not having a functioning basement or yard made this a fun project - our side yard and side of our house became our painting area.  Thankfully - the dollar store down the street had a ton of shower curtains that I clipped to sections of the fence we didn't disassemble - worked well!!

A few rounds in:
 containment of paint is key when renting!

Mr. Wade hard at work painting!

Our repurposed fence didn't look half bad once
painted!  Some were short/tall - but it looked okay overall!

Once Mr. Wade was done with his part in helping to assemble and paint, it was my turn to take over on the crafting side!  I knew they would all be different because of the nature of the craft (no two bows are ever alike) and also because I was quickly running out of supplies and had already exceeded my "decorations" budget.  So, I had decided to do some big bows on some and some smaller burlap ties on the others and supplement with a mason jar full of flowers.  It turned out well (once I figured out how to tie a bow - they are not professional!).

The burlap/lace on the mason jar
isle pieces was not the same for all of them,
but it seemed to work out and look nice!

Clearly I never really did figure out how to
tie a bow!  

Once we set them up at the farm, I was so pleased with how they turned out!  They ended up costing us about $30 in total to make, $35 if you include the cost of the flowers.  I loved them, they really set the scene, and I received many many compliments on them after the ceremony.  For the cost, the work and the look - I would still add this touch to the wedding if I had to do it all over again!  

The Ceremony From Scratch

When we had initially set out to do our own ceremony, I was completely lost.  I had been to many weddings, been in a few, and still, I could not figure out the format or sequence of events that was acceptable.  I found a ton of religious examples online, and was not sure how they would translate into a non-religious design.  Plus, I could not find any secular versions that had the entire ceremony - just the readings!  

Thankfully my cousin Matt saved the day, yet again!  He gave us a few examples of ceremonies he had done in the past - basic outlines to follow.  We picked over them, took what we want, inserted other things we found along the way, figured out our own reading and vows and - tada!   We created a ceremony that was custom made for us, without being constrained by religious formalities or leaving anything out!     

We opted to have a very small 'discussion' on the rings.  They are symbolic of a marriage, but I feel like every pastor/preacher/priest that has ever wedded anyone has gone on and on and on about them - and we all know by now that married people wear rings.  A huge bonus to doing the ceremony ourselves!

Creating the ceremony ourselves really helped us become familiar with the document and it became part of us in a way.  This was helpful in that we knew what to expect and we knew when to kiss.  I was so nervous I wouldn't hear that part and look silly.  

If you would like to read our entire wedding ceremony, please click here.  You will find both options for our vows, although we ended up writing our own!  

The Ceremony : Readings and Readers!

Our wedding was awesome - for a number of reasons - one of which was being surrounded by the best people in our lives, but it was also fantastic having the freedom to do whatever we wanted for the ceremony - from readings and wording, to who we had read and perform it! We were concerned at the out start that we would have a hard time finding an officiant that would leave the "higher power" at the door and do a non-religious ceremony.  Dev and I come from religious families, but we just feel more ourselves without the influence of organized religion and we wanted to reflect this on the biggest day of our lives!  

My cousin Matt read the ceremony we created, it was
awesome - and so was he!! 

My cousin Matt, who was so very kind and amazing to do the ceremony for us, was awesome at keeping things the way we wanted.  Devin and I basically wrote the entire ceremony and our vows, and Matt went through and read what we wrote!  It was short, simple, to the point, and the only power he had was from the State of New York!  He was wonderful and so helpful throughout the entire process - he really made our day!  





Some people had questions about why I had walked down the isle solo.  Long story short, I was bucking history.  I did not want to feel like property ("who gives this man this woman?") and really, the only person who has ever come close to 'owning' me has been my mom.  But still, I am my own woman, I am not in need of being looked after, and I am not property to exchange.  Also, no goats or cows were exchanged for a dowry.  

Our Readers 

We had two readers for our ceremony and both are very near and dear to our hearts.  We were honored that they agreed to be a part of our ceremony and they did a lovely job!   After much research for two perfect pieces that were appropriately romantic and yet rational and secular, we settled on two: the "Union' and "On Love and Souls."

We were so lucky to have Laura read the passage by
Robert Fulghum.  

The first reader was my dear friend Laura.  Laura and I met in college and after some bonding late nights freshman year, we have been great friends ever since.  She is an amazing person and I felt compelled to have her be a part of our day.  Thankfully she agreed!  Laura had decided to read the passage called "Union" by Robert Fulghum (he was actually a minister, so this was the closest we got to a preacher).  


The passage reads:

“You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will"- those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe"- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife.”

Erin was great at reading "On Love and Souls"

The second reading was done by my amazing sister-in-law Erin. The wedding was an all Wade affair with Devin's brothers, so we really wanted to highlight Erin as well!  It meant so much to us that she read for us!  She did an amazing job - even with her adorable one year old daughter sitting three rows back squirming, trying to catch her attention!  Erin read "On Love and Souls" a poem by Rumi.  Rumi was a Persian poet who died in 1273ce.  He was also a theologian however spirituality, not religious inclinations, were more prevalent in his works.  I fell in love with the poem when I first read it, and I am glad that Devin liked it and so thankful that Erin read it for us!

The passage reads: 

Apart from Love, everything passes away.
The way to heaven is in your heart.
Open and lift the wings of Love!
When Love’s wings are strong, you need no ladder.
Though the world be thorns, a lover’s heart is a bower of roses.
Though heaven’s wheel be mired down, lovers’ lives go forward.
Invite love into each dark corner.
The lover is bright as a hundred thousand candles!
Even if a lover seems to be alone, the secret Beloved is nearby.
The time-span of union is eternity.
The life is a jar, and in it, union is the pure wine.
If we aren’t together, of what use is the jar?
The moment I heard my first love story I began seeking you,
not realizing the search was useless.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere;
they are in one another’s souls all along.

Thank You!

Really, saying Thank You to all of the people who helped pull off our amazing ceremony does not seem like enough.  We are forever grateful for all who participated.  Having a ceremony that we created, worked on side by side and having wonderful people help us present it, was the best thing we could have done.  

Best Day Ever!

Much Love, 

Dev and Rita 

The Centerpieces

I have been in love with mason jars since before I can remember, and as we sat down to plan our wedding, we knew we wanted to be budget savvy.  So, I thought, mason jars! I had a tons of different types :: antique ones that had the glass and metal tops, newer ones that my grandmother and I had used for jelly, and a good amount of large ones that used the regular band and lid.  I pulled what I had, which was a couple boxes full... but I wanted more blue ones.  I have always really loved the look and feel of the blue ones, so I wanted to make them prominent in the decor.

Thus, our centerpieces became a community event - my mom, sister and Katie hunted for blue glass jars for a year.  Laura found us one large one when I visited her in Buffalo.  It was a lot of fun hunting for them, and every time I saw them, it was like Christmas - they found so many jars!

Mom and I had fun decorating some of them (you can see the old post here).  And some of them we left blank.  But there was something missing.  It needed a frame.

This is where my very talented co-worker Nick comes in!  He works with me at my group home, but he also has a shop in the South Wedge, called South Wedge Boards, where he designs and creates long boards and other random wood projects.  He also does some really creative furniture building - and he is always willing to help out people, which made him the go-to guy for this project!  He is always posting new things he has made and new ideas he has on their Facebook page, you can go here to see and "like" his work.

After some much planning, he helped me come up with a concept.  I knew I wanted to "fill out" the tables a little bit more, and that I wanted to bring a little warmth in, as well as texture.  So barn wood it was!

I think they turned out beautifully.  They were simple, and with an
extra napkin tucked in the bottom, it really completed the look.
It was the perfect size for the tables - and it really completed the
whole look.

First, Focus on Food!

One thing guests always look forward to, or dread, is the meal at a wedding.  Being a vegan/vegetarian, I know I have sometimes wondered "what will I actually eat other than bread?" And it was funny when a veggie friend had actually exclaimed excitement for our wedding as they knew they would have something to eat!  But, once the ceremony is over, it seems like food takes the focus for a bit.  It is compared to other weddings, it is talked about afterwards and people usually have an opinion on how it went.  Overall, we got positive feedback on the meal and dessert, so I thought I would share with you more about the small, local shops we used to pull off our big day!  

The Main Meal 

When Dev and I were planning and sat down to talk about food, the only real concern Dev had was that it taste good.  I really wanted a vegetarian menu (my mom and Dev convinced me otherwise), but then I was adamant about not having beef.  So, we went with chicken.  Thus began our quest for a decently priced caterer who would do chicken and vegan options without much fuss.  This is where we stumbled upon Orange Glory Cafe on East Ave (right next door to The Little).  We had lunch there, off the cafe menu, and it was delicious!  We then arranged a tasting, but got delayed, so we took it home for dinner.  Even reheated, it was amazing!  So, we decided for the price and the kinder ethics behind her buisiness model (local veggies and breads, plus free range organic chicken) to go with Jackie from Orange Glory Cafe.  

Our menu was very simple, out of necessity, but it also went with the simplicity of the event.  Free range, organic grilled chicken seemed to be the best option, as we could truck in grills and prepare it fresh.  We added in asparagus because it is Devin's favorite veggie, then potatoes and quinoa for starches.  Our vegan option was chickpeas with cauliflower - I honestly cannot remember what it was like I was so busy on the day - but I do remember people saying that they liked it!  

I really loved working with Jackie - she met with us so many times - driving out to the horse farm and at her cafe.  She was a great sounding board to round out the menu and had ideas but also listened to ours.  On the day of the wedding, she worked hard with her staff to make sure everything was in order, and other than a "good luck" she ran the show without me, which was amazing.  Her staff helped with the dessert table and cleaned up perfectly!  

Overall, we were very pleased with Jackie and the Orange Glory Cafe staff!  You can like them on facebook and visit them for lunch if you are downtown during the week!  As a caterer, I would highly recommend her!  

Plenty of Pies - and cupcakes too!

Right from the start, I knew I did not want a wedding cake.  I think they cost too much, taste awful and I did not want to go cake taste testing (I do not mean to offend - I really and not a cake person and didn't want to spend a ton).  Luckily, Devin agreed - so we went with pies and cupcakes.  I have always loved pie, growing up on my grandmas amazing creations it was hard not to.  And when we first started dating, I am pretty sure I made a pie every time Dev came over for dinner.  I like pie.  I cannot lie. This led us on a different quest, but one that needed a bit of creativity and communication.  I wanted pie, but I didn't want it in ugly pie tins!  So, through years of saving and a few wedding registry gifts, I had amassed nine glass pie pans.  Now, I just had to find someone willing to make pies in my pie pans!  Cue Paternico's Bakery!  They may have looked at me a bit funny as I carted a 30lb bag into the store, but they did it!  I did not have any pie, but they looked and smelled amazing!! Most were gone by the time we got done, and I heard rave reviews!  

We loved Paternico's because they are a small, local shop - that just moved into a storefront in our neighborhood after working for years out of the Public Market.  They are literally around the corner, and they do so much more than pies!  They do an assortment of Italian cookies and some cakes and non-fruit pies (like peanut butter!) that looked amazing when I was in the store.  If you like them on Facebook, you can see all the lovely creations they make!  If you are in the area, or stop to see us, be sure to visit!! 

Cupcakes! Bet you will never guess where we got such yummy cupcakes!  

Best Bartender 

When we were planning, I really wanted to have a backyard wedding where we could do whatever we wanted.  But once it became clear that we could not do that, we moved on to plan B, which was the Equicenter.  The Equicenter, to cover their liabilities, needed us to obtain a bartender and one day liquor license.  And I was told it was not an option to have a "dry" wedding.  So, based on a tip from our "go-to" guy at the Equicenter, we contacted Ted Stryker from Rochester's Top Shelf Bartending Services.  They applied for the license for us, told us that we needed to acquire and gave us options for sodas and juices.  We were able to pick out our own wine and beer, which we tried to tailor to our guest's preferences.  

I only saw our bartender a few times, and kept calling her Heidi... but apparently her name was Holly.  Oops.  But I liked her and I liked the service before and after the wedding.  I liked that she was trained to not serve those who were too inebriated, but knowing our guests, it would not be an issue.  But I was still thankful I did not need to worry about guests driving home after too many! Rochester's Top Shelf really did live up to their motto "go enjoy your party, we've got this."  They do small and large events, so if you are in need of sort of bar tending service, I highly recommend this professional and reasonably priced services!

Overall, we thought we did well for food and drinks.  What did you think?  We worked hard to use small, local businesses and hope to drum up some continued support from our guests and other readers.  Any input on their services could be helpful to their efforts!  But specifically in relation to our event, what did you think of the food, drinks and desserts?  Clearly we can't go back and change anything, but for anyone else planning large events, input here might be helpful!  

We hope you had a great Monday!

Much Love 

The Wades

Many Many Many Thanks!

Devin and I have sufficiently recovered from the big day, and for the most part, so has our house!  We had such fun surrounded by amazing family and friends - and we hope you had a good time too!  It really did take a ton of people to make our day a success - not only did we have one of the most stellar bridal parties of all time, but we had support from so many others!  Really, even the guests were amazing helpers and truly made our day amazing!

Davey was an amazing helper
before and after!!  

Mom and Dad McDaniel rolled up their
sleeves to help out daughter #3 - I was SO
THANKFUL they were there! :) 

These ladies (and the gents on the other side) really held us
together that day!  We really have the best people! :)

We decided to keep up the website for a little bit longer - maybe for a lot longer? - so we can share more about our helpers, our DIY process that so many seemed interested in, and so we can just stay in touch better! :) 

The Photos!

No wedding would be complete without some great photography, and in this area, we lucked out!  My friend Mary and her husband Brian jumped through hoops to get amazing shots during the wedding and rehearsal dinner, and met with us so many times beforehand to really understand what we wanted and loved most.  

Mary and Brian did our engagement photos, which were featured on our Save the Dates.  Here are a few shots from the wedding I was able to preview early and LOVED.  I am sure there will be many many many to come - and I can hardly wait!  

If you are in the Rochester area and looking for a very laid back, personable and amazing couple of photographers, please look up Mary and Brian!  They really are the best!  You can find them at https://www.facebook.com/MoonbeamPhotos.  Or just email me and I will get your her phone number!  :)

Please let us know what you think and if you have any questions!  

Much Love, 

Rita and Devin (now officially "The Wades!")